This article was written in Ramadan 2022.
The first 10 days of Ramadhan have passed and for many of us, we wonder where it has all gone.
If we are breastfeeding or taking care of little ones, we might be feeling regret or resentment that the time had all been spent mostly to nurture and care for our children or over mundane activities.
You might also have felt a little left out as watching others going to the masajid, preparing lavish iftar spreads or reading lots of Quran. You might have even felt disappointed that you don’t seem to be doing lots of ibadah or worship like you used to do during your young and single days.
But this is the trap that we fall into. Mamas, we forget that every moment of our existence as a mother is ibadah, too.
Every Part of Us is a Mercy for Our Children
Every drop of breastmilk that goes into the mouths and bodies of our babies will be rewarded and accounted for – because Allah does not ignore any good deed, even as small as the black seed, what more the milk that builds our children’s bodies atom by atom, as they grow. The antibodies in our breastmilk are natural cures for our little babies’ ailments.
Our wombs are a form of protection and a mercy to our unborn child from the harsh outside world. Our soft, wobbly postpartum bellies are safe spaces for our children to cry into, to feel warmth and seek comfort.
Our hands that feed our children, cook their meals, clean their tiny bodies, nurse them to health (and much, much more that people don’t see) – every bit that we do are acts of mercy for our children.
Change Our Internal Narratives
Let’s change the narrative in our heads: everything that I do now as a mother may be different from what I was able to do when I was unmarried or before I had children.
And yet, everything that I do now as a mother is an act of mercy, an act of service and worship, if I intend it for good and especially when I do it out of compassion towards my offspring.
Even when I am tired and all I want to do is just sleep, Allah and the angels witness our struggles as we fight our own needs to give to our little ones. Our struggles and pains are not in vain.
Let’s change the way we think about ourselves: I am privileged to be able to be with my baby and nurse my baby with my breastmilk. I am fortunate to be able to cook food and feed my child. I am blessed with rizq to nurture my family.
Allah is always Merciful and I am blessed to be at the receiving end of His mercy, and I shall share that mercy with my children.
Mummies, we may have experienced less than pleasant encounters about people who tell us that our positions are not privileged. You may have gone to the mosque and was asked to quieten your crying baby. You may have doubted that being a mother is fulfilling or important, as you hesitate to bring the children to the mosque. You may also have doubted your decisions to stay home or go to work, with all good intentions to do what is best for you family.
Channel the Love Allah has Blessed You With
But do know, mama, that you are the place of healing and mercy for your children, and you should hold space for yourself – that you are an important figure in your family’s life, but also an important figure in the sight of Allah.
That you are worthy and honourable to become a mother, and you are powerful and strong – you were pregnant, breastfeeding, caring, nurturing but you are also the place of kindness, the softness that your children crave for, the comfort and security that they need.
Remember that children who grow with love, compassion and security will grow up to become strong and nurturing adults, emotionally independent amd fulfilled, ready to love others – their families, children, elders and members of the community.
And remember that the love stemmed from you, because you were selfless and giving, and that love will power them through their adulthood to benefit others, and uplift the ummah. InshaaAllah.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in the articles on The Ocean’s Ink are the authors’ own, written in their personal capacity. They may not reflect the view of The Ocean’s Ink or IMSGP as an organisation.